Let Go
by WickedGame
Summary: Three months after the battle with Knives, Meryl waits for the man she loves, and teaches him to let go of the past. VashMeryl.
1. Chapter 1

**Let Go**

a/n: I do not own Trigun or anything associated with Trigun. This came to me this morning as I was thinking about all the Trigun I watched yesterday and last night. Take place three months after Vash confronts Knives.

_**Chapter 1 **_

_The tall blonde stood in front of her, his glasses reflecting moonlight and his skin luminescent. His red coat rippled slightly with the wind as he spoke to her._

_"Wait for me Meryl," was all he said as he turned to walk away. The petite woman with raven hair did not know if she would ever see the outlaw again._

_"Vash?" the blonde man turned around when she called his name, "I love you"_

_He paused, still as a statue._

_"I know"_

Meryl Strife stretched out on her bed, the sunlight filtering in through her window. Her long legs were tangled in the white sheets, and perspiration glistened on her smooth brow. She felt slightly tense as she opened her eyes regretfully. The dream had come again, a might have been, a could have been, but not a memory of what actually happened. She sat up and rolled her neck around, working the kinks out. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and began to unbutton her white nightshirt. She shucked it and her underwear on the floor and went to shower before she had to go to work.

As Meryl worked the shampoo through her hair she thought about Vash the Stampede. He was the humanoid typhoon, the first localized human disaster. If captured he was worth sixty billion double dollars. He had left her and her associate, Millie Thompson, here three months ago so he could go confront his evil twin, Knives. He had left her here. And she had loved him all the more for it. She had never told him how she felt. At the last moment she had held back, convinced that sending the gentle soul into battle with yet one more regret, one more liability, was unfair to him. She would tell him if he ever came back. Right now, 'if' was the biggest word in her vocabulary.

Meryl picked at her tea and toast after her shower, knowing she had to leave for work soon. Her work as a barmaid may not have put as much food on the table as Millie's grunt work, but she did what she could to help out. They ate a lot of pudding.

Meryl was happy in her work, when she could evade the groping hands and leering smiles. That was the worst part of the job. Men seemed to feel the need to squeeze and further manhandle her ass as she passed by with the tankards of beer and bottles of whiskey. She didn't want any of these men to touch her ass. The only man she wanted to touch her ass was nowhere to be found. One day, when she was sure he would never return, maybe she would take one of them to bed. She did not want to go the rest of her life without that kind of pleasure, but she knew in her heart she would always believe Vash would come back. She knew she would always see Vash's face when she closed her eyes.

"Hands off buddy!" she yelled as one man tried to take a peek underneath her short barmaid skirt. The man yelped when she backhanded him, and then the yelp turned into a fierce growl.

"You little bitch!" No woman slaps me and gets away with it!" the man grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down on his lap. His hands started roaming, and she started screaming as she kicked in the air.

"Help! Get this asshole away from me!" Meryl screamed. Almost immediately some helpful men were able to grab her away from the man while some others held him down as he fought. The manager walked out of the back.

"Get him out of here! He is not allowed to return either!" the manager, whose name was David, told the man holding the customer. The customer yelled and shrieked obscenities as he was thrown out of the saloon. The manager turned to Meryl, "Are you all right Meryl?"

Meryl adjusted herself, "Just a little shaky thanks"

"Go home Meryl," the manager told her. Meryl sighed and walked out the door. A cheer from a worksite down the street let her know that Millie and the other workpeople were making more headway on their project.

Meryl was lucky she only lived a few blocks down from the saloon. Her nerves were slightly shaken, but she was not intimidated.

Meryl did not feel helpless, did not feel powerless; but ever since Vash had left she had been worried that someone would come after her and Millie. She kept a cautious eye out as she approached their porch. The weathered rocking chair rocked slowly in the soft breeze. She sat down in the chair and curled her long legs up. She stared out at the horizon and turned her thoughts inward.

_Why won't he come back? When will he come back? When will he let us know everything is ok?_, Meryl asked herself. Then she silently admonished herself.

"Lighten up Meryl. Listen to yourself. You do not even know if he cared for you. He didn't even know your name. A legendary outlaw falling for an insurance girl turned barmaid? We were nothing but trouble for him. If it weren't for Millie and I he maybe would not have been forced to shoot Legato. One more regret, one more scare on his soul. All because of us. No. No matter how much you love him Meryl Strife, sitting here swelling on it will do nothing for you," Meryl sighed and walked inside.

If Meryl had bothered to look around when she came inside she would have seen the gorgeous blonde sitting in a chair next to the open window, not 3 feet from where she had been sitting a moment ago. His hair was stuck up in unusual spikes, and his eyes were a shade of emerald green. He wore black jeans and white shirt in place of his usual black catsuit and red coat. The red coat had been retired on the battlefield, and the black catsuit was abandoned on his bedroom floor. He had watched Meryl walk up, had seen her disheveled appearance. He had heard her sounds of discontent as she sat with her thoughts. And he had heard her confession. The confession had brought a small amount of silent tears. She blamed herself for the scars on his soul. She thought he didn't care. She loved him. That insurance girl loved him. No one had loved him since Rem, and no one had ever loved him that way. Who wants to love an outlaw? But this girl looked right through all of that. She saw through it and saw him for what he truly is. And that realization is what made him get up and walk silently to the kitchen. Meryl had her back to him. She was staring out the window, letting her cup of tea get cold. She had changed, and now wore her usual outfit, minus the cap that held her Derringers.

"Hi Meryl. Long time no see!" Vash said cheerfully. Meryl turned around so quickly she lost her balance and the teacup shattered on the floor. Her eyes were wide.


	2. Chapter 2

**Let Go**

a/n: I do not own Trigun.

_**Chapter 2**_

"You stupid idiot! How dare you scare me like that!" Meryl screamed as she threw her arms around Vash's neck. She hugged him tightly, and he let himself hug her back. He nuzzled her hair, inhaling her scent. Meryl started to let go, but Vash held her tight.

"Shh. Meryl. Let me hold you. Please, just let me hold you," Vash whispered. Meryl stilled herself, and laid her head on Vash's chest. He felt so good to hold. He smelled like green grass and fresh air. She moved her arms so they were around his waist. He kissed her head. Meryl ran her fingers up and down his back. She could feel bandages underneath his shirt.

"Are you hurt?" Meryl asked him quietly.

"A man patched me up in Demitrihi. I have been in worse condition. Knives was in worse condition than me. But, he is recovering in his own way," Vash responded.

"You found a way to spare him then?" Meryl inquired.

"I saved him," Vash answered.

"Is it all over then?"

"The Gun Ho Guns are gone. Legato is dead. Knives has been saved. I am back here, where I belong. Where I feel I belong," Vash told her.

"Vash? I had something I wanted to tell you before you left for battle, and I couldn't say it. I couldn't send you into battle with the burden --," Meryl was cut off by Vash tilting her face up to look into her eyes. She could drown in those deep green pools. They stood there, transfixed, frozen in time. Then Vash lowered his head and brushed her lips with his. Merul shuddered with the tenderness of that one touch. He was always so gentle. He always took such care.

"Vash?" Meryl asked in wonderment. A single tear coursed down her cheek, while its twin made its way down Vash's smooth, ageless face. Meryl stood on her tiptoes and mashed her lips against his, and brought her hands up to tangle in his golden hair. She knew what Vash needed. He needed to forget. He needed to lose himself in something. He needed to feel something other than fear, pain, and loss. Meryl reached between them and started to unbutton his shirt. He just stared at her. She pushed it off his shoulders and down his arms. It fell to the floor. She ran her nails down his chest and traced every scar and every spare part.

"Kiss me Vash. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like you love me. Kiss me right now," Meryl pleaded with him as she kicked off her shoes and took off her shirt. She stood there in her pants and bra, staring at him in challenge.

"Why are you doing this?" Vash asked her quietly.

"Because I love you stupid. You scarf donuts, you chase skirts, and you can't hold your liquor. But underneath it all, Mr. Vash the Stampede, you are the most amazing creature I have ever met. Let me help you forget for once. Let me help you feel special. Let me try to heal some of the scars on your sweet soul. Let me love you, Vash," Meryl said to him, and she grabbed his hand. She led him through the house and into her bedroom. Vash did not say a word as she removed her bra and her pants. She now wore only her panties. He didn't say a word as she removed the rest of his clothing. He stood there, naked as the day he was born. Meryl took off her panties and stood in front of him. She looked at him, desire and love filling her blue eyes.

"You're beautiful Vash," Meryl told him.

Vash did not want to stay still any longer. He grabbed Meryl and pulled her to him. She did not resist. He kissed her gently, and slid his tongue across her lips, asking for permission to taste her mouth. She opened her lips and let his tongue slide in. She tasted like tea and honey. He tugged on her tongue with his own, each tug coaxing more heat to form between her thighs. The kiss deepened even more, until Meryl's breasts were crushed against Vash's chest. Her nipples were pink and stiff with arousal.

Vash slid his hands down her back and cupped her ass with his hands. He lifted her up so that her legs were wrapped around his waist. He was hard, and she wanted to sheathe him inside her, but he stubbornly kept her in no position to be filled with him. Vash walked over to Meryl's bed and laid her down on it. Then he stretched out next to her. She looked so perfect laying there, her swollen mouth open and panting.

"Meryl, are you sure you want this?" Vash asked her with genuine concern.

"Vash, kiss me," Meryl pulled his head down to her and she kissed him passionately. Sometimes he just spoke too much. His false left arm lowered to cup her right breast, squeezing it gently as the thumb worked her nipple in circles. Meryl moaned into Vash's mouth and arched her back into his hand. Vash broke off the kiss to move his mouth down to Meryl's soft neck. He sucked a bit of skin into his mouth and held it with his teeth as he flicked the skin with his hot tongue. She gasped at the sensation. He continued down until he could take her right nipple into his mouth. As he suckled her, she moaned loudly. He used his right hand to manipulate her left nipple. He slid his left hand down her stomach to the junction between her thighs. He cupped her at first, feeling how hot she was. He used his fingers to stroke her, and used his thumb to rub circles on top of her swollen bud. Meryl was whispering his name and moaning loudly now. He left her nipple so he could look at her. Her legs were spread and her face was flushed. He slid two fingers into her and moved them in and out slowly, while she shook and moaned.

"What do you want Meryl?" Vash asked her.

"What?" Meryl asked him, out of breath from the ministrations of his fingers. She was wet and pink. Meryl bucked slightly.

Vash leaned down and kissed her, very gently, "Open your eyes Meryl," Vash gently commanded. Her blue eyes fluttered open, and she looked straight at him.

"What do you want Meryl?" Vash asked her, his eyes full of lust and caring.

"You. I want you. I love you. Make love to me Vash," Meryl said quietly, but it sounded like thunder in his ears.

Vash rose above her, and lowered his body onto hers. He propped himself up on his left arm and used his right to guide himself into her. With one thrust he was inside her. She was hot and tight. He moaned her name as he began to move. He moved slowly at first, not wanting to hurt her. He looked into her eyes and saw no pain.

"Vash, just let go. Give in. I know you would never hurt me. Forget it all. I'm yours Vash," Meryl told him.

Vash took that advice to heart and began to give in to the pleasure he was experiencing. He started to move faster inside on Meryl, driving himself into her. She wrapped her legs around him, and arched her back with pleasure, She moaned beneath him.

"Vash, oh Vash. I love you, oh!" Meryl screamed out, and Vash felt her contract around him as she found her release. He increased in speed and depth, which resulted in another climax from her. Her second climax sent him over the edge and he stiffened as he shot his release in her womb.

"Oh Meryl," was all he could say as he half collapsed on her. They were both spent.


	3. Chapter 3

**Let Go**

a./n: I do not own Trigun

_**Chapter 3**_

"I told you I loved you," Meryl sighed as she snuggled up next to her lover. Vash said nothing. She looked at him and saw his tear-filled eyes, "Vash?"

"No one has ever loved me. Not since Rem. I have never allowed anyone to love me. But here you are. You love me. Why?"

"Love means loving someone for all the little things that make them unique. I love you for all the little things that make you, you," Meryl told him.

"Like how I like your tenancity? Your ambition? Your ability to survive? Those kinds of things?" Vash asked her.

"Like how I could drown in your eyes. Like how I do not see anything wrong with your scars and spare parts. Like how your smile lights up the room when you are happy. So many things Vash, so many little things. I don't care of you ever love me. I will die loving you," Meryl said as she snuggled up to the outlaw. Vash stayed quiet once again, "Vash?"

"Meryl, I --," Vash was cut off when she placed a finger against his lips.

"Don't. Don't you say it until you are sure. Don't say it because I said it. Only say it when you mean it. But I'm yours, and I am not leaving until you do not want me anymore Vash the Stampede," Meryl said gently.

"I don't deserve you," Vash said meekly.

"You're wrong. This is about the only time I will say it, but I don't deserve _you_ Vash. The world does not deserve you. You deserve it all: Meryl said seriously.

"Go to sleep Meryl," Vash told her.

"You won't leave?" Meryl asked him.

"No"

They pulled up the covers and became a mass of tangled limbs as they settled down to sleep.

When Millie came home from work she checked the rooms out of habit. When she peeked into Meryl's room she smiled. Vash's blonde head was lying right next to then raven hair of her friend and roommate. You could not tell where one began and the other ended. She closed the door and made her way to her own room and sat down on her bed.

"Ah, Mr. Priest, Mr. Vash came back. You would be so proud…"


End file.
